The photo above shows Hesselbacher posing for his life-sized statue on the left and the finished statue of Hesselbacher.

Oct. 16, 2025: Ken Hesselbacher, legendary Bronxville leaf blower, has announced his retirement after the current leaf blowing season. Once the final leaf has gone, he will just walk off into the sunset.

Not one to sit still however, his next project will be the Bronxville Leaf Blower Hall of Fame. Naturally he will be the first player inducted into this prestigious residence. 

In a recent interview Ken was asked why, year in and year out, he always worked with such zeal and determination. He replied, ‘Someone once asked the great Yankee centerfielder, Joe DiMaggio why he always played so hard on every play. He said he would just think that there was some Dad taking his son to his first baseball game and saying, “there’s the great Joe DiMaggio!” Well, I feel the same way!’ And just like DiMaggio loved hearing the roar of the crowd, I loved hearing the roar of the leaf blower! “

"Looking back over all the years, I now realize that it is not the answer that is blowing in the wind," says Hesselbacher, "it is the leaves, and they always will be! The only decision that I have to make is which leaf I will wear on my cap. Most likely it will be either an Oak Leaf or a Maple Leaf. Maybe both!”

Hesselbacher further explained, "Of course, the theme song playing in the Bronxville Leaf Blower Hall of Fame will be 'When Autumn Start to Fall' written by Johny Mercer and sung by Nat King Cole, also pretty good leaf blowers in their day."

Correction: In the photo above, the finished statue is on the left, and the Hesselbacher is on the right.

Editor's note: This article is a work of fiction. Hesselbacher says that he wholeheartedly supports and endorses the conversion from gas blowers to electric blowers.