The Power of Friendship and Connection
By Lynn Evansohn, LCSW, The Counseling Center
Jan. 24, 2024: We live in a fractured and contentious world. A world in which it has become more difficult to live in communion with one another, to hold our friends and communities close. Yet it is exactly that interpersonal connection and closeness which allow us to thrive as individuals and as a society.
During anxious and divided times, we feel a growing loss of belonging and connectedness. Yet belonging is a fundamental human need. A report by the American Immigration Council states that when people belong “they feel emotionally connected, welcomed, included and satisfied in their relationships. They know that they are valued for who they are as well as for their contributions, can bring their whole and authentic self to the table, and are comfortable expressing their thoughts and opinions.” This is a clear prescription for health and equanimity.
In this time when technology has become a powerful force, one which can amplify judgment rather than understanding, bringing people together, reaching out to people we care about--neighbors, co-workers, etc.--creating positive dialogue and action, can build the foundation for our individual and collective wellbeing. We are often surprised to learn how a seemingly small act of kindness has had a meaningful impact. Yet examples of kindness abound and are expressions of our natural inclination toward inclusion and capacity to care and pay attention. We have all witnessed communities coming together to help those in need or crisis, or to provide services such as voter registration and food banks. In so doing we create opportunities for people to join one another to support important shared values.
On a purely biological level, our connection to other people is vital. According to Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, “When people are socially disconnected, their risk of anxiety and depression increases. So does their risk of heart disease (29 percent), dementia (50 percent), and stroke (32 percent).” Have you ever felt your body relax or your mood change when you’ve been met by a warm welcome from a checkout clerk, postman, or your favorite coffee barista? On a deeper level, do you recall the sense of wellbeing and ease you’ve felt during a conversation with a trusted friend? The effects of connection register in our nervous, immune, and endocrine systems, creating energy flow and balance.
We have all experienced loneliness and isolation at different times in our lives, whether from the loss of a job or loved one, divorce, a house move, or isolating depression. What do we hunger for in these circumstances? Many people look for the warmth, acceptance and understanding of friendship. We also look for situations in our lives where we have a place, a role, a clear value.
Despite their interconnectedness, people can still feel alone and overwhelmed. The unique offerings of friendship are the antidote to our sense of separation and, perhaps, even our fears. The basic qualities of friendship--kindness, generosity, acceptance and understanding--sustain us through joyous times and dark ones. So do our willingness to show up and be present, to pay attention, to listen deeply and with empathy, to cultivate an open heart.
It's not always easy to develop or maintain a relationship. And all friendships do not endure. As friends we must gain insight, investigate, give thought, and earn trust by being reliable; we must accept the limitations of the relationship yet continue to invest in it. Caring friendships increase our sense of self-confidence and self-worth. They strengthen our ability to cope with the inevitable challenges life offers. Our meaningful relationships enrich our lives and push us to welcome change when we need to.
The great Persian poet, Hafiz, wrote these words more than 700 years ago in his poem “My Brilliant Image.”
I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in darkness,
The Astonishing Light
Of your own Being!
The essence of friendship remains constant and enduring. Our options in friendship are as big as the world and our own imagination.
The Counseling Center in Bronxville offers therapy for individuals, couples, and families, both in person and through telehealth (online or by phone). Please feel free to reach out if we can help, by calling Dr. Jennifer Klein, 914 793, 3388. To keep abreast of ongoing information and activities at The Counseling Center, please visit our website at https://counselingcenter.org/.
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Rye, New York 10580
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Scarsdale, New York 10707
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The Maxwell Institute
The Maxwell Institute of St. Vincent's Westchester offers outpatient chemical dependency treatment and education services for adults, adolescents and their families. Treatment includes individual and group psychotherapy, couples counseling, and psychiatric evaluation and medication management when indicated. The Institute welcomes individuals and family members who are experiencing marital and/or work-related distress as a result of alcoholism and other forms of chemical dependency.
The Maxwell Institute also offers community education services through its programs in drug and alcohol prevention in the schools. For persons wishing to become credentialed alcoholism and substance abuse counselors (CASACS) in New York State, the "Maxtrain" program provides the 350 classroom education hours that are an important part of the credentialing requirements.
The Maxwell Institute is grateful for the support of The Community Fund of Bronxville-Eastchester-Tuckahoe.
92 Yonkers Ave
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(914) 337-6033
Counseling Center
Founded in 1971, the mission of the Counseling Center “is to provide a wide range of psychotherapeutic and counseling services to individuals, couples and families by a staff of highly trained, experience and dedicated psychotherapists.
Director: Virgil Roberson
The Counseling Center
180 Pondfield Road Bronxville,
New York 10708
914-793-3388
Dr. Henry A. Blom
10 Studio Arcade
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1157
Bronxville Dental Care
Jenny A. Kanganis, D.D.S.
Guy N. Minoli, D.D.S.
Since 1994, Dr. Kanganis and Dr. Minoli of Bronxville Dental Care have been leaders in the dental community, providing exceptional dentistry to generations of Bronxville families. They have a long history of excellence and have earned a reputation built on trust, compassion, and dedication. Drs. Kanganis and Minoli believe in a conservative, holistic, and minimally invasive approach to dentistry. Bronxville Dental Care welcomes patients of all ages and offers a comprehensive range of services, including cosmetic and restorative dentistry, implants, and pediatric dentistry. Dr. Kanganis especially loves treating children. As a mother herself of two recent Bronxville High School grads, she understands the importance of helping children to feel comfortable during their visits, while earning their trust and teaching them to become active participants in their oral health.
20 Studio Arcade
Bronxville, New York 10708
(914) 337-6536
www.bronxvilledentalcare.com
Dr. Anthony Fiore
44 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-3863
Dr. Quentin M. Murphy
77 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1004
Scarsdale Pediatric Dental
777 Post Rd.
Scarsdale, NY 10583-5000
Phone: 914. 472. 9090
http://www.scarsdalepediatricdental.com/
Dr. Michael J. Vitale
1 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-8430
Dr. Lesa Kelly
77 Quaker Ridge Road
New Rochelle, New York
914-637-2663
Dr. Neil Goldberg
77 Pondfield Road Ste 2
Bronxville, New York 10708
Dr. Mark Fox
ENT and Allergy Associates
1 Elm Street
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
Lawrence Home Care of Westchester
670 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, NY 10707
(914) 787-6158
www.lawrencehomecare.org
Jansen Hospice and Pallative Care
670 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, New York 10583
(914) 787-6158
NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital
In July 2014, Lawrence Hospital and NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital established a new relationship aimed at enhancing care, improving access and lowering health care costs for residents of Bronxville and surrounding communities in Westchester County. Lawrence was renamed NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital.
Lawrence Hospital Center was founded in 1909 and is a 291-bed acute care facility with over 1100 employees and 400 physicians. It provides emergency care to approximately 35,000 individuals every year. It became a designated New York State Stroke Center in 2006. Its physicians provide expertise in virtually every area of medical specialty and include over 100 primary care physicians. And, Lawrence delivers about 2000 babies every year in the home-like setting of newly designed Labor and Delivery recovery rooms.
Outpatient services include diagnostic testing and laboratory services, ambulatory surgery options, and rehabilitation and sports medicine services. The Hospital has a Women`s Imaging Center where female patients receive diagnostic services in a private setting. Outpatient physical therapy, lymphedema therapy, speech and occupational therapy services are provided both on-site at the Hospital and at Lawrence`s satellite center, The Center for Rehabilitation and Sports Medicine, in Scarsdale.
The Hospital is accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations. The Hospital is fully licensed by the New York State Department of Health. Lawrence`s laboratory is accredited by the College of American Pathologists.
55 Palmer Avenue
914-787-1000 (main number)
Dr. Anne Galloway
77 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-4986
Dr. Kerrianne Page
14 Studio Arcade
914-779-9066
Dr. Raymond Chow
700 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, New York
Dr. Polly Kanganis
4 Studio Arcade, Bronxville, NY 10708
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-771-9441
Dr. Thomas J. Rubeo Jr. MD
Bronxville Women's Care, Pllc
One Pondfield Road, Suite 302
Bronxville, NY 10708
Dr. Patricia Halloran
55 Park Avenue
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1239
Dr. Joseph Ciccio
1 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
Dr. Peter Rizzo
77 Pondfield Road
914-337-1118
Dr. Michael Elia
1 Stone Place
Bronxville, New York 10708
Westchester Health Pediatrics (formerly Children’s Medical Practice of Bronxville)
1 Elm Street
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
914-337-7474
Scarsdale Pediatric Associates
2 Overhill Road Suite 220
Scarsdale, New York 10580
914-725-0800
Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine
495 Central Avenue
Scarsdale, New York
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