By Mary Marvin, Mayor of Bronxville

Sept. 9, 2026: I continue my crusade to make our incredibly special Village not only outstanding for its education excellence, its beauty, and its sense of public purpose, but I would love to see us be an example of communal longevity - our own version of a Blue Zone. We can all agree that Covid did an incredible number on our community interactions, and I think we have to redouble our efforts to even get back to pre-epidemic norms. 

Of particular interest in my research this summer were articles by the Princeton sociologist Patrick Sharkey, who looked at how we are now spending our time and with whom, and to what benefit or detriment. 

He found that between 2003 and 2022 the average American adult added an hour and 39 minutes at home to a typical day - roughly 10% more of our lives spent inside our own four walls. It did spike during the pandemic, but was climbing since the mid-2000s and has barely come down. The reasons should give us pause as it wasn’t that we suddenly had new important obligations that kept us home, including increased caretaking, dealing with illnesses or even new home-centric hobbies. We still eat, work, and exercise about as much as we did pre-covid; we just stopped doing it outside of our homes. 

Just think about the number of changes that became permanent after the pandemic. The restaurant meal became the delivery bag. The church sanctuary became the livestream church service. The theater became the couch. We didn’t lose the activities; we just lost the going out, the showing up, and the company of strangers.

In another wonderful essay, “The Antisocial Century”, Derek Thompson chronicles the staggering accumulation of social losses. In-person socializing alone has fallen more than 20% since 2003; nearly half of restaurant traffic is now takeout and delivery, and eating alone in restaurants is up 30% in just two years.

Modern life has allowed us to work without offices, shop without stores, exercise without gyms and communicate without looking anyone in the eye.

We all remember meeting interesting people on the walk home from the train or in the “delays” on the famous post office line. When the ordinary logistics of life no longer require us to encounter one another, the ties that bound in those encounters start to fray: remote work, delivery apps, online shopping, online banking, self-checkout, telemedicine, and private exercise platforms became permanent replacements. Convenience has saved us time, but the hidden price is that it has also “saved us from one another” as in person socializing has fallen more than 20 percent in the past five years – a recipe for possible loneliness.

The US Surgeon General has called social isolation aka loneliness a public health problem. Half of American adults now have reported experiencing lonesomeness and young adults report more loneliness than middle-aged or older adults.

A recent study concluded that weak social relationships predict mortality rate at a magnitude compared to smoking and greater than obesity or physical inactivity.

Loneliness has been linked to a higher risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death.

The economist Enghin Atalay put a price on what we’re trading away, a five-percent increase in time spent alone tracks with the same drop in life satisfaction as a 10% cut in household income. Being with people may actually be worth more to our happiness than money.

We definitely are opting for convenience because every errand that we do outside the home comes with a little more resistance and on occasion, frustration. It is hard to find a parking space near the restaurant, but there might’ve been a serendipitous connect with an old neighbor on your drive arounds. Attending church often has a person sitting with you in the pew you might have not seen in a while.

None of the above is an argument against being alone. Solitude in the right dose is a balm, and we all know a quiet evening sometimes is a gift.

In another of my summer reading, according to Robert Putnam, who wrote the seminal book “Bowling Alone” in 2000, he foretold the collapse of what is called the middle layer… the friends, the neighbors, acquaintances - the loss in public and communal ties. In his depressing conclusion, we have kept our zeitgeist connectivity with family and the screen, but we have greatly affected our Village connect…the clubs, the leagues, the dinner parties that had knit us together. Dr. Putnam documented that nearly all of our recent extra free time was funneled to television and social media, but he believes the hours surrendered to the screen can be given back by being in a room full of Bronxville friends.

As a result, it is the duty of municipalities to preserve libraries parks, playgrounds walkable streets and mixed used space amenities where easy contact can happen.

Without sounding like Pollyanna, I would encourage us to start the “New September Year” committed to maximizing what is special about our home – its small-town connectivity and concern for our neighbors.

I recently took a tour of community gardens to get ideas for our “Giving Garden” and I was struck by the following “commandments” to make our home a real home.

-Turn off your TV

-Leave your house

-Know your neighbors

-Look up when you are walking

-Greet people

-Sit on your stoop

-Plant flowers

-Use your library

-Play together

-Buy from local merchants

-Share what you have

-Help a lost dog

-Take children to the park

-Garden together

-Support neighborhood schools

-Fix it even if you didn’t break it

-Have pot lucks

-Honor elders

-Pick up litter

-Read stories aloud

-Dance in the street

-Talk to the mail carrier

-Listen to the birds

-Put up a swing

-Help carry something heavy

-Start a tradition

-Ask a question

-Hire young people for odd jobs

-Organize a block party

-Bake extra and share

-Ask for help when you need it

-Open your shades

-Sing together

-Share your skills

-Take back the night

-Turn up the music

-Turn down the music

-Listen before you react to anger

-Mediate a conflict

-Seek to understand

-Learn from new and uncomfortable angles